I...Well...It's that...Um...

Back in the day, before professional players made millions of dollars, there were things like "signing bonuses." One apocryphal tale has it that the legendary Gordie Howe's signing bonus was a team jacket (the story, of course, propagated by famed juniors coach Murray Chadwick*).

Well, that can't hold a candle to Mark Messier's Edmonton signing bonus:



GARY COLEMAN!

Seriously, though - what the hell is going on in this photo? It looks like Moose is about to show Gary why beer, towels, and long Edmonton winter nights often spell doom for young boys.

This photo actually confuses me to no end.

Between that and this:







I'm thinking Coleman spent most of the 80s being passed around by creepy white people like some kind of big joint.


























* - Closet crooner.