Monday, August 31, 2009

The Pandering News

Oh, The Hockey News, why do you have to be so predictably terrible?



For their 2009-2010 Yearbook, they not only go with the boring "Battle of New York" headline (it's not a battle when both sides are losing), but they once again blow up a big ol' picture of Henrik Lundqvist. Not, you know, number 1 overall draft pick John Tavares, no...he gets the small spot. And who cares that Rick Dipietro might be finished only 3 years into his 48-year, $300 trillion contract? That's not newsworthy. And by no means pay any attention to the WINNINGEST GOALIE OF ALL TIME just across the river.

No, no....it's all about Henrik. After all, he....um....

...was, like, runner up for something that one time...

...and, right...he won a gold medal with Sweden a couple years ago...

And....umm....he almost led the Rangers to a first round playoff win last year! (But, c'mon, those 3 game to 1 leads are sooooo tough to handle...)

Until Lundqvist actually accomplishes something - Wins more than one playoff round, say, or leads the NHL in any statistical category ever (except for "Goals That Are A Direct Result of Wade Redden"), or figures out how to stop something that's more than a foot off the ice - maybe these accolades should pump the brakes a little bit.

Face it, the Rangers are a team balanced on the fragile hips of Marian Gaborik, a man who's going to have a hard time ever scoring 5 goals in a single game now that he's playing with Lundqvist.







How about paying some attention to those guys who actually excel at their position, Hockey News? Or are you still praying that some day Roberto Luongo might actually take a team somewhere so that you can justify 10 years of over-inflating his ego, too?

Can't wait for Marty Brodeur to retire so you can do a cover story on how Lundqvist and Luongo and Cam Ward feel about it.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Un-Retiring




Save and a Beaut has been sitting dormant for too long. I think it's time to wake it back up.

What have I been doing all this time?

Well, I've been taking shots from the Flyers' Jeff Carter, for one...




And I've been grooming a future hockey fan. True story: My wife went into labor minutes after the Devils choked against Carolina in Game 7 of last year's playoffs. Thank you, son, for giving me something much more important to think about.

But enough about that....I have some major catching up to do. From the Montreal Midget A Squad ("You Must Be This Tall to Play For Les Habs") to Patrick Kane's Gary Bettman-approved efforts to make the NHL more like the NBA (assault charges? Well done, Pat. Now if Sean Avery can get busted with weed we'll be chomping into those US ratings any minute now), there is a lot to shake my head at.

So let's get back to it, huh? I'm rusty.