Why?

So why am I wasting my time writing about hockey? Let me explain with two short anecdotes:

Exhibit A: Yesterday, while driving home from work, I was listening to Jack FM (what can I say? They lured me in with a Pixies song) and during their listing of 'Jack-tivities" they mentioned that beloved local So-Cal sportscaster Stu Nathan passed away at age 81. The host mentioned that Nathan was known for, among other things, being one of the only sportscasters who knew anything about hockey because he once played goal for a minor league team. Then, they hit me with this (and I quote): "So in honor of Stu, we're going to mention that the Anaheim Ducks are playing the Vancouver Canucks this Sunday at the Staples Center."

Really?

The Ducks are going to drive for an hour on the 405 to play a home game at the LOS ANGELES KINGS' home arena? Are they simply cleaning Anaheim's Honda Center that day?

Exhibit B: Last year, as you may or may not know, the Anaheim Ducks won the Stanley Cup. Now, I've been pulling for a Canadian team to win the Cup for a while (Well, I do when and if my beloved Devils are eliminated from contention) - I rooted hard for Calgary to beat Tampa Bay (ugh), I really wanted Edmonton to knock off Carolina (yee-fucking-haw), but...for some reason...I couldn't root for Ottawa. Even though I didn't like the idea of another sunny, warm, American city winning the cup (hockey is for cold, gray places like Buffalo or Minnesota), I just can't stand the Sens. (And not because they knocked off Jersey, either). Ray Emery is the most overrated goalie since John Vanbiesbrouck (seriously, Ottawa's number one goalie is Anton Volchenkov. He made more saves than Emery during their run) and I think Jason Spezza and Dany Heatley are punks. Plus, I couldn't help but get caught up in the Ducks' various compelling plotlines. I wanted Teemu Selanne to hoist the cup, what can I say? The guy's a class act and he deserved it. And I defy anyone to not get a little misty at the whole Niedermayer Brothers story. Which brings me to my point.

During the post-game, on-ice interviews, the local L.A. sportsdouche (whose sports knowledge only extends to athletes named "Kobe" or "Bryant") finally grabs a few minutes with both Scott and Rob Niedermayer, the men of the moment. So, looking the overjoyed Rob in the face, he begins by saying: "You came to Anaheim this year with the sole intention of helping your brother win a cup..." You could see the light in Rob's eyes dim, but being the good, polite Canadian boy he just meekly smiled and waited for this tanned asswipe to finish. "...and now you've done it, how does it..." Before he could get to "feel," the elder Niedermayer diplomatically stepped in: "Um, actually, he's been here for a long time," says Scott, smiling politely. "I was the one who came here two years ago."

The first Stanley Cup for California in NHL history, and this guy can't even do the minimum research required to distinguish ROB from SCOTT Niedermayer?

That's why I'm writing this. Unless I plan on hanging out exclusively with Canadians (no offense. I love you guys, but I can't commit only to you), I need somewhere to talk about how much I love this game, and how much I wish it got the credit it deserved in the country that is hording all the teams.

Next up, I'm going to rant about how Henrik Lundqvist is the most overrated goalie since Ray Emery, and how Roberto Luongo should never be mentioned in the same breath as Martin Brodeur until he, oh, I dunno, WINS SOMETHING. Anything. He took Florida nowhere and so far, I don't see any rings on any Canucks' fingers...A truly great goalie elevates his team (cough Marty cough), he doesn't wait to get traded to an already good team.

So if you know your Staals from your Stolls or your Ruutus from your Koivus, join me, won't you?